NSFW – Canadians Swear.

Canadians swear a lot.

I mean, really a lot.

Everything is a bitch, people are constantly asking if someone is shitting them, and 90% of the population can be categorized as bastards at any given time.

We can use “fuck” in so many ways that there is no longer any reason for dictionaries to classify it grammatically. It’s a verb, a noun, an adjective and an adverb  – if there’s a place in a sentence that some variation on “fuck” can be shoehorned into, it goes in there.

It even doubles as punctuation.

And that’s just ordinary conversation.

When we get mad, it can ratchet up to the point where entire paragraphs have been constructed without any non-swears at all. It’s just one possible pronoun or article followed by a long stream of expletives that even sailors would blush at.

But you have to be aware.

Because when we’re really upset – I mean, beyond the natural perturbation of life’s ordinary troubles – when we are so seriously incensed, driven to the wall of anger-insane….

We do not swear at all.

When that happens, be afraid.

Be very afraid.

Because when the cursing stops, we are in deadly earnest, and we intend to stomp you into smithereens.